fiction Archives - Page 620 of 666

The Eye of Midnight
by Andrew Brumbach (Author)

On a stormy May day in 1929, William and Maxine arrive on the doorstep of Battersea Manor to spend the summer with a grandfather they barely remember. Whatever the cousins expected, Colonel Battersea isn’t it.

Soon after they settle in, Grandpa receives a cryptic telegram and promptly whisks the cousins off to New York City so that he can meet an unknown courier and collect a very important package. Before he can do so, however, Grandpa vanishes without a trace.

When the cousins stumble upon Nura, a tenacious girl from Turkey, she promises to help them track down the parcel and rescue Colonel Battersea. But with cold-blooded gangsters and a secret society of assassins all clamoring for the same mysterious object, the children soon find themselves in a desperate struggle just to escape the city’s dark streets alive.

#kidlit Writing Lesson: the small details

Grandpa isn’t home when the two cousins arrive, so they go looking for him. Soon they end up in the cluttered basement:

And one detail in particular was impossible to ignore: in shape, the crate was very much like a coffin. As the cousins’ eyes met, there was no doubt they shared the same impression.

“What’s Grandpa got in there?” asked William uneasily.

The lid was pasted with several shipping labels and a conspicuous yellowed tag, which Maxine dusted off with her shirtsleeve.

“Noli me tangere,” she read.

“Is that Greek?” asked William.

“Latin, I think,” she replied. “I’ve seen it before in a book at school.”

“What does it mean?

Maxine traced the words with her finger, racking her brain, and the translation came to her suddenly from the depths of her memory.

“Touch me not.”

Notice the action / reaction pattern. The cousins see the crate:

And one detail in particular was impossible to ignore: in shape, the crate was very much like a coffin.

And then readers see their reaction:

As the cousins’ eyes met, there was no doubt they shared the same impression.

Dialogue is next:

“What’s Grandpa got in there?” asked William uneasily.

The dialogue is followed by description and a new action:

The lid was pasted with several shipping labels and a conspicuous yellowed tag, which Maxine dusted off with her shirtsleeve.

“Noli me tangere,” she read.

That leads to a new question:

“Is that Greek?” asked William.

And a new answer:

“Latin, I think,” she replied. “I’ve seen it before in a book at school.”

Which leads to another question:

“What does it mean?

And the search for an answer:

Maxine traced the words with her finger, racking her brain, and the translation came to her suddenly from the depths of her memory.

The chapter ends with an answer that leads to even more questions:

“Touch me not.”

Ben Says Goodbye
by Sarah Ellis (Author) and Kim La Fave (Illustrator)

Booktalk: The BIG Picture

When Ben’s best friend Peter moves away, Ben decides that he will move, too–into a “cave” under the kitchen table. Caveman Ben doesn’t need any friends except his tame (stuffed) lion. He hunts for his food (thoughtfully left on a plate by Mom and Dad) and communicates in grunts. And in the safety of his cave he can imagine a world where friends control their own destinies and distance is no obstacle.

The sales copy on the back cover sums it up nicely:

#kidlit Writing Lesson: the small details

What does Ben do after his best friend moves away?

Ben decided he would move too. Not across the world. Not across the country. Not across town. He would move under the table. He would become a caveboy.

Notice the use of threes. There are three “he would move” phrases. The first sentence has one:

(1) Ben decided he would move too.

There are two more at the end:

(2) Not across the country.
(3) Not across town.

In between the three “he would move” phrases are three “Not across” phrases:

(1) Not across the world.
(2) Not across the country.
(3) Not across town.

#kidlit Writing Lesson: This page uses threes (twice!) to show the main character’s emotional reaction to the story problem.