fiction Archives - Page 639 of 640

Biggie
by Derek E. Sullivan (Author)

Booktalk: Henry “Biggie” Abbott is the son of one of Finch, Iowa’s most famous athletes. His father was a baseball legend and his step-dad is a close second. At an obese 300+ pounds though, Biggie himself prefers classroom success to sports. As a perfectionist, he doesn’t understand why someone would be happy getting two hits in five trips to the plate. “Forty percent, that’s an F in any class,” he would say. As Biggie’s junior year begins, the girl of his dreams, Annabelle Rivers, starts to flirt with him and suggests he should play baseball. Hundreds of people before his dream girl have told him to follow in his dad’s footsteps and play ball, but Annabelle might be the one to actually convince him to try. What happens when a boy who has spent his entire life trying to remain invisible is suddenly thrust into the harsh glare of the high school spotlight?

Snippet:
“Do I have diabetes or not?” I stand up and look him in the eye. I’m so sick of his judgment. He’s like 180 pounds, ripped. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be three hundred pounds. He doesn’t know what it’s like to live my life. I don’t want a lecture. I just want to know if I need to start taking diabetes medication.

“No, Henry, you don’t have diabetes,” he says. “God wants you to have a third chance.”

“What?” I start to cry right there in his office.

Six Traits Mini Lesson

Trait: Conventions Quotation marks are used to indicate that someone is speaking. The words the person says when they have a conversation are placed inside quotes. These punctuation marks used with dialogue act as a signal to the reader.

The other signal used for dialogue is starting a new paragraph each time someone new begins to speak. This rule applies even if that dialogue is just a single line of text. Whenever someone new begins to talk, that character’s words start on a new line.

Trait: Voice This young adult novel is written in first person. Using the first person voice to tell a story means that the main character also acts as the narrator. Readers experience the world of the story by seeing what the main character sees. The main character’s inner thoughts show and tell the story.

“Do I have diabetes or not?” I stand up and look him in the eye.

This paragraph begins with a question. The question is spoken aloud, so it has quotation marks.

After Henry asks the doctor his question, he shows us what he does. We see the character’s actions. This sentence is not spoken aloud, so it does not have quotation marks.

I’m so sick of his judgment.

The next sentence tells us how Henry feels. The story moves from action to emotion.

He’s like 180 pounds, ripped.

Then Henry describes the doctor. This sentence tells us what he sees.

He doesn’t know what it’s like to be three hundred pounds. He doesn’t know what it’s like to live my life.

Henry’s emotions are next. We find out how he feels about the doctor. Henry tells us in two short sentences.

I don’t want a lecture. I just want to know if I need to start taking diabetes medication.

The paragraph ends Henry telling us what he does and doesn’t want. There is one line for each.

In a single paragraph, there is action and emotion, showing and telling, dialogue and inner monologue. And by the end, we know more about Henry than we did before. The entire paragraph moves the story forward. We want to know what happens next. . .

A Crow of His Own
by Megan Dowd Lambert (Author) and David Hyde Costello (Illustrator)

Booktalk: Clyde is the new rooster at Sunrise Farm. But he’s having trouble fitting in and replacing Larry—the beloved rooster whose wake-up calls were legendary. The cow, the gaggle of hens, and the sheep reminisce about Larry while poor Clyde fails to croon the farmyard awake with the same finesse.

Snippet: When Larry was called off to new opportunities, Sunrise Farm suddenly found itself without its prized rooster. The animals overslept and no one knew what to do.

Six Traits Mini Lesson

Trait: Organization The story begins with the inciting incident. Something has changed, and that causes a problem… So what happens next?

Snippet:
“Not to worry,” soothed Farmer Jay.
“We have a plan,” added Farmer Kevin.

Trait: Word Choice The word “said” is commonly used as a dialogue tag. It is so common that it is almost invisible. But “said” isn’t the only word choice a writer has. Consider the verbs used in this mentor text. The verb “soothed” is more evocative than the verb “said” because it adds emotion. The use of the verb “added” in the next sentence indicates that the conversation is continuing.

The word “said” would have worked just fine in both of these sentences, but using these other verbs adds another layer of meaning to the dialogue. This is why I consider word choice to be a small details trait. After you figure out your story’s Big Picture (with the ideas, organization and voice traits), looking at the story again (re-vision) and making simple word choice changes can add a new layer of meaning to the story.