sentence fluency Archives - Anastasia Suen

Stormy Night
by Salina Yoon (Author/Illustrator)

Booktalk: When thunder shakes his house and rain pounds the windows, Bear is frightened. But comforting his Mama, Papa, and Floppy helps make the storm seem not so scary. Before Bear knows it, the storm has passed, because even storms need their sleep . . . and so do bears.

Snippet: The wind was whirring, the trees were crackling, and the rain was pounding against the windows.

Six Traits Mini Lesson

Trait: Sentence Fluency Picture books for the preschool age don’t have very many words. As Bear looks out the window on this stormy night, this is the only sentence on this double-paged spread. Bear looks out his bedroom window on the verso (left) page of the spread. On the recto (right) page of the spread, the story text is seen on the outside of the house next to Bear’s window.

Notice the use of threes? The storm is shown in the art and in the words in three different ways.

The wind was whirring,

Young readers can see the wind blowing the trees outside Bear’s window. That’s the first ACTION. Every action leads to a REACTION, one that is shown in the second example:

the trees were crackling

The third example makes the storm complete:

and the rain was pounding against the windows.

TIP: The use of threes in storytelling is a oft-used Western tradition.

Three is considered the perfect number to use in fairy tales, advertising, and public speaking. (Most stories have also three acts!) A pair is not enough and four is a bit too much, but give three examples and the story feels complete.

The Shadow of Seth
by Tom Llewellyn (Author)

Booktalk: Sixteen-year-old Seth Anomundy is a product of his environment: in this case, Tacoma, Washington, a working-class port city now undergoing urban renewal. Seth has grown up in Tacoma’s tough neighborhoods, where he’s perfectly at home in Choo-Choo’s boxing gym and Miss Irene’s soul food palace, the Shotgun Shack. With his mom working nights as a cleaner, Seth goes to high school, gets decent grades, and makes money where he can: filling in as cook at the Shotgun Shack, working as a sparring partner, and running errands for Nadel, the clock repairman. Life is hand-to-mouth, but okay–until he gets the news that his mother has been killed. The police don’t care about the death of just another drug addict, so a bewildered Seth takes it upon himself to find the killer. On a clock delivery run, he meets a beautiful rich girl named Azura Lear, who encourages Seth and tries to help track down the killer. But instead of finding answers, Seth finds only trouble. He faces down a gang of baseball-bat-wielding high school jocks and deals with the contempt of Azura’s suspicious father. And then there’s King George–a teenage thug Seth has previously managed to avoid–who has for some reason let it be known that he wants Seth dead. Right now.

Snippet: Nadel called my cell phone just as I got home from school, asking if I could make a pickup. Mom was sleeping. She wouldn’t need her car until she left for work, after dinner. I took her car keys and drove her Jeep over to Nadel’s House of Clocks.

Six Traits Mini Lesson

Traits: Sentence Fluency This young adult mystery begins with a four sentence paragraph. As the curtain opens on this story, we meet the main character and see his life on the stage. His life may be bumpy, but the sentences are not.

In the first sentence of the book, the main character is given a task to perform. Showing us that task also establishes the when and the where of the story setting.

Nadel called my cell phone just as I got home from school, asking if I could make a pickup.

The next sentence adds more details with just three words.

Mom was sleeping.

The third sentence builds on the second sentence by adding more details. We find out why the second sentence was important.

She wouldn’t need her car until she left for work, after dinner.

The two middle sentences let us know the factors the main character considered as he made his decision. In the final sentence of this opening paragraph, the main character has made his decision. He is on the move.

I took her car keys and drove her Jeep over to Nadel’s House of Clocks.

Every word counts. Each word in these four sentences adds a specific detail that readers need to know.