The Raven and the Loon
by Rachel and Sean Qitsualik-Tinsley (Authors)
Illustrated by Kim Smith
Booktalk: In the time before animals were as they are today, Raven and Loon were both white. Their feathers had no color at all. Raven spent his days swooping through the sky trying to fight off his incessant boredom, while loon spent her days in her iglu working away on her sewing. One day, too bored to even fly, Raven visited Loon and suggested a sewing game that would give their feathers some much-needed color. The results led to Raven and Loon acquiring their now-familiar coats.
Snippet:
As usual, Raven talked.
And talked.
Loon sewed.
She listened.
Until Raven ran out of things to say.
Bored, Raven pointed to Loon’s sewing and said, “I could do better than that!”
Loon grew angry at Raven’s rudeness.
Six Traits Mini Lesson
Trait: Word Choice In a fiction story, a character’s personality is often the cause of the story problem. Who the character is leads to both the problem and the solution. Writers use word choice to reveal each character’s personality.
Most of the picture books that editors buy today are very short! (See the word count guides at Literaticat, Guide to Literary Agents, and Literary Rambles.) Some editors want to see a picture book that is only 500 words long. To tell an entire story–with a beginning, middle, and end–in a mere 500 words, you need to choose your words wisely.
TIP: After you write down everything you want to say in your first draft, set aside your manuscript for a week or two. When you come back to it, look for ways to say the same thing in fewer words.
On this book page, we see Raven’s personality portrayed with just six words:
As usual, Raven talked.
And talked.
Loon’s personality is revealed in four words:
Loon sewed.
She listened.
Now that both character’s personalities have been revealed, it’s time for a change:
She listened.
Until Raven ran out of things to say.
Then we see a NEW action:
Bored, Raven pointed to Loon’s sewing and said, “I could do better than that!”
And a NEW reaction:
Loon grew angry at Raven’s rudeness.
Readers will have to turn the page to see what happens next. (Wouldn’t you do the same? Here’s a teaser from later in the book . . .)
Copyright © 2015 Anastasia Suen All Rights Reserved.
