word choice Archives - Page 5 of 6

The Swamp Where Gator Hides
by Marianne Berkes (Author) and Roberta Baird (Illustrator)

Booktalk: Under the algae that carpets the swamp, near the duck who paddles in ooze, close to the turtle who takes a snooze . . . hides a gator! Still as a log, only his watchful eyes can be seen. But when gator moves, he really moves! What happens to the duck, the turtle, the egret, the deer, and the many other critters of the swamp when gator makes his move?

Snippet:
This is the sunfish
who scoots away
when Gator comes out
to catch his prey.

WHO WILL HE HAVE FOR LUNCH TODAY?

Six Traits Mini Lesson

Trait: Organization This poem is written as a cumulative tale, a story that uses the This Is The House That Jack Built pattern. Each new creature is introduced with “This is …”

This is the sunfish

The second pattern in this rhyming picture book is seen in the end rhyme. The words at the end of the second and fourth lines rhyme.

The second line ends with the word away:

who scoots away

and the fourth line ends with the word prey:

to catch his prey.

Trait: Word Choice To make a rhyming pattern work, you need to choose your words carefully. The words away and prey aren’t spelled the same, but the sound in the final syllable is the same. Both words end with the long a sound. So does the word at the end of the final line on this page:

WHO WILL HE HAVE FOR LUNCH TODAY?

This week’s Poetry Friday Round-up is hosted by The Opposite of Indifference.

Doyli to the Rescue: Saving Baby Monkeys in the Amazon
by Cathleen Burnham (Author)

Booktalk: With the help of her family, ten-year-old Doyli rescues endangered, orphaned monkeys from the perils of native hunters and the black market. At her island home in the Peruvian Amazon, she nurtures the little monkey orphans until they are old enough and strong enough to be released them back to their natural habitat: the Amazon rainforest.

Snippet:
As Doyli swept, she spied a dugout canoe paddling toward shore. Steering the canoe was the Yagua Indian hunter from the day before. Doyli ran down to greet him just as his canoe scraped ashore. Without saying a word, he handed her a limp, red howler baby. She took the monkey, nodded thanks to the Indian, and watched him paddle away.

Six Traits Mini Lesson

Trait: Word Choice An entire scene takes place in these five sentences. The word choices make the scene come alive.

What was happening as this scene opened?

Doyli was sweeping. She saw a canoe coming.

That is a simple way to describe what happened in the first line. For children just learning to read, this very simple explanation would work best. For older fluent readers we can add more words. Let’s look again at what the first line really said.

As Doyli swept, she spied a dugout canoe paddling toward shore.

With word choice, simple verbs are replaced with descriptive ones:

saw changes to spied

coming is now paddling

Adding specific details lets the reader “see” the scene more clearly:

a canoe becomes a dugout canoe

coming turns into paddling toward shore.

The action is still the same. Doyli was still sweeping as she saw a canoe coming. Adding small details with a word choice edit made the writing much more vivid.

It’s Nonfiction Monday!